Although my children were young adults when my husband & I got divorced, it was a crushingly painful experience for them as well. A husband & wife aren’t the only ones who experience divorce, the entire family shares the experience. My daughter & I had always been very close (we also butted heads at times, because we are both strong-willed women!), but in the aftermath of the divorce, there grew a huge chasm in our relationship. For over a year, our communication & visits were sparse, and conversations were awkward & stilted. My daughter finally revealed to me that my pain was so huge & palpable, that being around me was too much for her to bear. In the space of our relationship, it simply felt as if there were an elephant in the room. This poem was written when I was feeling complete exile from her life…
The Elephant in the Room
As she walks in my home, she’s ready to leave,
She looks at the time, an excuse for reprieve.
There’s an elephant in the room~
She no longer knows me, nor what to say,
All she can think of is, how soon she can get away.
But, there’s an elephant in the room~
Who is this girl, once my best friend?
Time used to fly, neither wanting it to end!
It’s that elephant in the room~
Is this my daughter? am I her mom?
Only stilted talk, is now carried on.
Yes, there’s an elephant in the room~
My heart yearns for family, comfortable & warm
But now I see strangers, obliged to perform.
I wish there weren’t this elephant in the room~
No mention of invite, to their house is received,
No blossoms of family, where love is the seed.
I wish it would leave, that elephant in this room!
What would hurt more, I sit & wonder…
To ride the elephant, or be crushed under?
I am happy to share that my daughter & I are now in a very good & loving place with each other.
mammasu 